The Christmas Dress
by tjp
Summary: Kitty remembers a dress in an old hat box as Christmas approaches that brings back memories. This Christmas story brings characters together from two of my earlier stories, Journey's End and Matt and Kitty: The Rest of the Story.
1. Chapter 1

The Christmas Dress

Chapter One

Kitty

As I stared at the Christmas dress I had the seamstress make for Ella, my mind went back nineteen years to another Christmas dress. I hadn't thought about it in years. It was so similar to the one in my hands; I was surprised that it took this moment to remember. I laid the dress on the bed and headed to the closet. Reaching up on the shelf way back in the corner, I pulled out an old hat box. Removing the lid, I looked at the red velvet dress with white lace. It brought back so many bittersweet memories of a time so long ago. So much of that time I would like to forget. Yet, it was a period in my life that would never be gone.

"Kitty, are you up here?"

"Yes, Matt, I'm in the bedroom."

Just before Matt walked into our bedroom, I put the dress back in the box and placed it back on the shelf. I would think about it later, but for now I had a daughter and husband who needed me.

"Hey, honey, I think our little redhead is getting hungry."

He walked in the door carrying our daughter whose face was scrunched up ready to let out a howl. I took her from her daddy and headed to the rocking chair. Sitting down, I opened my shirtwaist and it didn't take long for Ella to latch on. She had an appetite like her daddy as she sucked noisily. One would think I hadn't feed her all day instead of just a few hours ago.

Matt sat down on the edge of the bed watching. It always amazed him when I was breastfeeding our daughter. He loved the intimacy of the bonding time we had as she nursed. I loved this time with Ella as well. As I sat there watching her, her bright blue eyes looking up at me, my mind flooded with a memory of another time with another redheaded, blue-eyed baby. My heart all but stopped as I remembered and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong."

I looked up into those beautiful light blue eyes of my cowboy. They were filled with such love and concern for me.

"Oh, Matt, it's just memories coming back to me. I will be alright."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Thanks, but not right now."

"Okay, just know I am here whenever you want to talk."

After Ella finished, I closed my shirt and stood putting my sleeping girl in the cradle. I looked down at the sweet innocence as she slept. Then I walked over and sat down on the bed by Matt. Pulling me into his arms, I laid my head on his chest and sobbed. The memories hurt so much, yet I wasn't ready to talk about them. I was sure Matt had figured out what was going on, but I knew he would wait until I was ready to discuss it. Finally, I pulled back and put on a smile for my husband.

"I bet you're getting hungry too."

"Well, just a little." He said with that crooked grin I loved so much.

"Come on cowboy and I'll fix you something to eat."

We stood both checking on Ella before heading out the door and down to the kitchen.

I got a fire started in the stove and put the stew over the fire to warm it up. I also had some cornbread left from lunch and apple pie. I hoped that would be enough to fill him up.

Once everything was ready, I sat it on the table. Matt had placed plates and utensils on the table as well as pouring us both some coffee. Sitting down, we ate in silence. We had always been so comfortable with each other that words weren't necessary at times.

I felt Matt watching me and knew he was still concerned with my outburst of tears. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him about it; I just wanted to hold the memories within for a while longer.

We finished supper and Matt helped me clean up. I knew it would still be awhile before Ella wanted to eat again so I headed into the living room. Matt had built the fire up in the fireplace before he went out to do the evening chores. It felt so warm and inviting, I curled up on the settee in front of the fire and picked up the book I had been reading the night before, but instead of opening it I gazed into the flames lost in thought.

That's how Matt found me when he came in a short time later.

"Honey, it's snowing outside."

"Oh, that means a white Christmas. Just think the day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Do you think we will get very much?"

"From the looks of things, I would guess several inches. It's coming down pretty fast."

"I hope we don't get too much. Doc and Festus will be coming in on the afternoon train tomorrow and I don't want them to be delayed. It will be so good to see them."

I got up and walked to the window pulling the curtains back to watch it snow. It wasn't quite dark out so I could see it coming down in huge flakes. It was so beautiful. I watched until I couldn't see it anymore then went back and sat down by my big teddy bear of a husband. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. We sat cuddled in front of the fire both mesmerized by its orange glow and the flicking candles on the Christmas tree. Matt had gone out the day before to get it and we had spent the afternoon and evening decorating it.

"Kitty, are you ready to talk about those tears I saw earlier."

"Not really, cowboy. I just want to sit here in your arms until our daughter demands to be fed which probably will be soon."

Matt pulled my chin up looking deep into my eyes. I knew he needed to see that I was okay. The memories were hard, but just having him hold me was enough for now. He then leaned down brushing a feather light kiss on my lips. It felt so good to be in his arms and feeling his lips on mine. I opened up for a deeper kiss which he obliged. Just as things started to heat up, I heard a tiny cry that began to build. Pulling away, I stood up. Leaning over, I whispered, "We'll take this up again as soon as I take care of your daughter."

"Oh, she's my daughter now."

"Always, at meal time. I think she has a bottomless stomach like someone else I know."

Laughing, I walked up the stairs to change Ella into a dry diaper and feed her. Hopefully, this would be the last feeding until morning. She had been sleeping through the night now for about a month. We couldn't believe she had just turned three months old and was growing like a weed. I was still in awe that Matt and I had been blessed with a baby. We went all those years without getting pregnant. I knew early on I had taken precautions against it, but as time went on I left it up to nature. It never happened so it was such a surprise three months into our marriage that I found I was pregnant. The result was Miss Ella Grace Dillon and she was the light of our life.

Surprisingly, it was quiet by the time I walked into our bedroom. As I looked into the cradle, two sparkly blue eyes looked up at me and she let out a squeal waving her arms and kicking her legs. I chuckled at her. It was obvious that she was happy to see her mama or at least that her meal was here. I picked her up taking her across the hall to the nursery. As she squirmed and wiggled, I changed her diaper and put a gown on her. Then taking her, I sat down in the rocker.

"Little one, if you want to eat you need to quit wiggling so much. Blue eyes met blue as she latched on and began nursing. Without realizing it, I began reminiscing out loud as the tears began to fall. I just couldn't seem to control my emotions.

"Ella, you look so much like your sister did at this age. How I miss her. I don't want to miss a minute of your life like I did hers."

I hadn't thought about that Christmas so long ago in what seemed liked forever. Yet, ever since remembering the Christmas dress, I couldn't stop the memories. It was uncanny that both girls were almost the same age on their first Christmas. I just hoped that I would be here for Ella for a long time. Regrets filled me thinking about how I wasn't there for her sister.

Just then, I noticed Matt standing at the door. Tears were running down his cheeks as well. I knew from seeing them that he had heard what I said and was remembering too. Not that long ago Christmas, but the week we had spent with her just two years earlier that made us both look at our life a little differently. Oh, I know our relationship didn't change much after what happen and we went through that difficult time when Will Stambridge almost came between us, but in the end we came together and married bringing us to this day.

Matt walked over, brushing the tears off my cheeks and looking down at our daughter. I moved her to the other side and looked into Matt's eyes. Without saying a word, we knew we needed to talk soon. He kissed me lightly and left the room and went off making sure the house was locked and the fire banked before heading to our bedroom.

Placing a sleeping Ella in her crib, I made sure she was covered warmly for the night. With the heavy gown and warm blanket, I knew she would be fine. Placing a kiss on her forehead, I whispered, "I love you," and headed to our room. Matt was just coming out of the washroom wearing his pajama bottoms. I stepped into the washroom to take care of my needs, undress, and put on my gown. Coming back into the room, I sat down at the dressing table taking the pins from my hair and picking up the hairbrush. Matt walked over taking the brush from my hands and brushing it for me. It felt so good and relaxing. Finally, I reach up and took the brush placing it on the dressing table. Standing, I turned toward him. He took me into his arms and pulled me close joining his mouth with mine in a passionate kiss. Coming up for air, I saw the burning desire in his eyes and the anticipation of what awaited us.

"Matt, please make love to me."

He untied the bow on my gown and gently pushed it off my shoulders letting it drop to the floor. Picking me up, he carried me to the big brass bed and laid me down in the center. Quickly removing his bottoms, he climbed into bed moving over me with his weight on his arms. The first kiss turned into a passionate night of love. We came together with such intensity that nothing else mattered, but the love we felt for each other.

I awoke early the next morning despite having such a late night. Matt was still sleeping which was surprising since he usually always woke before me. I slowly pull out of his embrace and got out of bed. The air was chilly as the fire in our room had gone down. I placed some logs on the fire so the room would warm up.

I picked up the robe at the end of the bed and pulled it on as I walked to the window. Looking out at the wondrous sight so white and pure, I felt it was truly going to be a white Christmas. I would say there was around six inches of the white fluffy flakes on the ground and it was still floating to the ground. I was excited about the day and seeing old friends again.

"Hey, gorgeous, why don't you come back to bed?"

"And why would you want me to do that cowboy."

"Well, come here and I will show you," he said with that familiar grin.

As I looked over at him, I could see the desire in his eyes. I started toward the bed when a cry came from across the hall.

"Sorry darling, but duty calls."

He groaned his frustration as I leaned over kissing him then went to the nursery to care for our daughter. I heard him get up. We had a lot to get done before heading into town for last minute things and to pick up Doc and Festus.

Crossing the room to Ella's crib, I looked down to see her playing with her feet. Somehow she had maneuvered out from under the cover and gotten her feet out of the bottom of her gown. It was so cute to see her trying to suck on her toes.

"Hey, little one, I think mama has something better for you than your toes."

Picking her up, I found her soaked so before she could eat I had to wash and change her into clean clothes. By the time I was done, she was making a ruckus and definitely ready to nurse.

Once Ella was finished, I went to our bedroom. Laying her on the bed, I dressed quickly then she and I headed downstairs. Matt was already back in from morning chores and had the coffee going. It smelled heavenly. Walking over to me, he handed me a cup and took our daughter. I gave him a grateful smile and headed to the stove to fix breakfast.

After breakfast, I cleaned up as Ella lay on a blanket near the stove in the kitchen. She was so fascinated with her feet and hands that she amused herself. Matt had gone to do something in the workshop and hitch up the team to the buggy. I imagined he had to finish up something for Christmas.

Thinking about the gifts I had hid away, I knew even with the sad memories that this Christmas was going to be extra special for all of us. Matt and I had an incredible life here in Colorado with a lovely home and a miracle in our beloved baby.

Just as I reached down for Ella, Matt came in from outside. Taking off his coat, he warmed his hands over the stove and then walked over holding out his arms for the baby.

"Here, let me take her while you get things ready to go."

"Okay, it shouldn't take very long."

Heading up the stairs, I went into the nursery getting Ella's travel basket, some extra clothes, and diapers. While gathering everything we would need, I thought I heard someone singing. Leaving the room, I made my way down the stairs. Reaching the bottom, I could hear humming coming from the living room. Peaking in, I saw my cowboy holding his daughter up to see the Christmas tree as he hummed Away in the Manger to her. The scene was priceless.

I hated to interrupt, but I knew we needed to get started for town. We had so much to do once we got there and I wanted to be done in plenty of time to pick up the boys at the depot.

"Matt that was a beautiful sight. You had her mesmerized with the tree and your song. I didn't want to interrupt, but we really need to get going."

Matt just turned and smiled at me. Ella was smiling too.

We went into the kitchen and got our coats on and placed Ella in her basket making sure she was cover and would be warm. Matt had banked the fires so we went out the door locking it behind us and climbed in the buggy.

Settling in, I was so thankful for the basket our friends Joe, Marie, and Mark had given us for Ella. It was sturdy enough to hold a baby with a handle across the top making it easy to carry. It also had satiny pink ribbon weaved around the top of it. The basket was sized just right for her to lie in. It could also be used for a travel bed. What was really nice was it was large enough that at three months she still had plenty of room. It worked well when traveling to town and back because it kept her safe and out of the cold air. Marie had told me Mark was the one who saw it in a store in town and wanted to buy it for Ella. Mark was very smart for being three and he loved his Ella as he called her.

The weather was brisk, but the trip to town was enjoyable. Ella lay in the basket with just her little face showing giggling when her daddy would make faces at her. We had placed the basket on the seat between us. With all the snow, there was a holiday feel in the air, but even with Ella's laugh and the beauty around us, I was plagued with sad memories. I was trying hard to keep a smile on my face so Matt and Ella wouldn't pick up my thoughts. I was truly blessed with my sweet daughter and husband, but the memories of my other little girl in the Christmas dress stayed close to my heart.

Finally making it to town, Matt stopped in front of Murphy's store. Getting out of the buggy, I reached for Ella's bag and my reticule. Matt lifted the basket out with Ella. We walked into the store greeting Mr. Murphy and his wife. Matt carried the basket over and sat it on the counter.

"What have we here?" Mrs. Murphy exclaimed. She is so pretty Mrs. Dillon and growing like a weed."

"Thank you. She's a blessing to us."

Matt handed Mr. Murphy our list and went off to look at a few things he wanted to check out while Mrs. Murphy and I visited.

"Mrs. Dillon, if you want to look around I will be happy to watch the baby for you."

I trusted her to watch the baby, but I had an odd feeling like something was going to happen. Shaking off the feeling, I agreed.

"Thank you, I think I will look around for just a few minutes."

There were a few things I wanted to look at that weren't on the list. I knew Ella was perfectly safe at the counter. Matt was looking over a shotgun at the time. Just then I heard the bell over the door. Glancing that way, I saw a woman come in, but didn't get a good look at her. Thinking no more of it, I knew Matt needed some new socks so I headed over to that area. I also checked out a pair of shoes that I spotted nearby. Again I heard the jingle of the bell, but thought nothing of it. I turned to go back to the front of the store with Ella when I heard Mrs. Murphy holler. Moving quickly, I reached the front at the same time as Matt.

Mrs. Murphy was frantically looking around and Mr. Murphy was rushing out the door.

I looked on the counter and realized Ella's basket was gone.

"Where's Ella?" I screamed hurrying around behind the counter.

Her basket was nowhere in sight. Matt grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Kitty calm down. We will find her. There has to be some explanation as to where she is. Just give Mrs. Murphy a chance to tell us."

The storekeeper's wife had a panicked look on her face.

"The baby was just here on the counter. A lady came in and asked for a bag of sugar. I turned around to get it off the shelf. Before I even had it in my hands, I heard the bell over the door. Turning around, the woman was gone. Then I noticed that so was the baby."

"Can you describe her," Matt asked.

"Matt, the more we talk the farther the woman will get with Ella. We have to go after her." I shouted at him.

Pulling me into his arms, he tried to comfort me. "Kitty, I have to know what to look for so let Mrs. Murphy finish, please."

"She was shorter than me, with long dark hair. She had on a blue dress with a hat to match. That's all I can remember. I had never seen her before."

Laying my head on his chest, I sobbed.

"Kitty, we are going to find the baby. I want you to stay here with the Murphy's. I am going to find the marshal and search for this woman."

"I'm going with you."

"No, I want you to stay here."

I grasped Matt's shirt clinging for dear life. "Please Matt." Matt pulled me lose and lead me over to Mrs. Murphy.

"Mrs. Murphy, I would like you to take Mrs. Dillon in the back and try to calm her down? I will be back as soon as I can."

"Matt, please find her. I can't lose this baby."

Mrs. Murphy led me to the back as Matt walked out the door. I was devastated. All I could think about was the baby I had lost so long ago and the one that was gone now. I knew I would lose my mind if we didn't get her back.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Matt

As I left Kitty, I was beside myself. My wife needed me, but I had to find this woman and our baby. With each minute that past she got farther away. Remembering her loss of the other baby nineteen years ago, I knew this would shatter her if we didn't find Ella and soon.

I hurried across the street toward the marshal's office. To my relief, standing outside was Joe, Marie, and Mark. The boy seemed excited about something, but his parents didn't appear to be taking what he said seriously. As I reached them, I heard something about "basket" and "pink ribbon." Then I heard Mark say Ella's name.

"Matt, what are you doing here?" Joe said as I reached the family.

"Joe, someone took Ella from the general store. It was a woman, but that's about all I know. She couldn't have gotten very far because it happened just minutes ago."

Realizing what I said, Marie said, "Oh, Matt, where is Kitty?"

"Marie, she's still over at the store. I asked Mrs. Murphy to try and calm her. Would you please go over there with her? She is beside herself."

Without saying anything, Marie took off leaving Mark with us. I know her mind was on Kitty when she ran off because she would have never left him otherwise. Her leaving him turned out to be the best for everyone though.

Neither Joe nor I realized that Mark was still with us. Joe continued asking questions.

"Matt, did you see her?"

"No, but Mrs. Murphy did. Said she had long dark hair and was wearing a blue dress."

Just then Mark started hollering, "Mr. Dillon, I saw her will Ella's basket. The one with the pink ribbon."

It took a minute before I comprehended what Mark was saying.

"Mark, can you show me where you saw the woman?"

Shaking his head yes, he pointed across the street at the store.

"I saw a lady come out of the store. She had Ella's basket. The one with the pink ribbon and I knew it was my Ella's. I picked it out for her. Why did she have Ella, Mr. Dillon?"

"I don't know Mark, but we need to find her. Did you see where she went?"

"She went down that alley." pointing past the Murphy's store.

"Thank you, son. Why don't you go over and see how Mrs. Dillon is doing. I bet you could make her feel better. Your dad and I will go after the lady and bring Ella back."

Mark almost refused wanting to go with us, but one look from his dad sent him scurrying across the street and into the store.

By then several men had come up to see what was happening and offered to help. Mr. Murphy was one of them. He said that he had been out looking, but hadn't seen anything. We gave the descriptions of the woman, Ella, and the basket and then split up, Joe and I headed to the alley Mark had pointed out and the others checked stores and buildings up and down the street. I just hoped we would find her soon.

Joe and I hurried down the street turning into the alley. Looking down, I saw a woman's footprints in the snow. Since they were the only tracks, I knew we were on the right path. The prints went down the alley and turned right behind the gunsmith's shop. Continuing on, we followed them until they stopped in front of an old run down shack. The door was ajar and I could hear a baby crying somewhere inside. Carefully pushing the door open, I motioned for Joe to go around to the back. Once I was sure he was out back, I quietly entered the shack. The crying was muffled, but I could tell it was coming from the room to the right. At that moment, Joe came in the back door and I pointed to the other room. Walking softly, I reached the door pushing it open. There sitting on a broken down bed was the woman holding Ella to her chest trying to stop her from crying. Cautiously, I crept closer until I stood right in front of her.

"Ma'am, I'll take the baby now."

Reaching out, I removed Ella from her grasp.

The woman just sat there with her head down saying, "My baby, my baby.."

Ella whimpered as I hugged her close. Sensing that she was in familiar arms, she quieted closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Getting a blanket out of the basket, I placed it around her. Then picking it up, I turned walking out the door leaving Joe to take care of the woman. I knew that I needed to get my daughter back into her mother's arms.

Kitty

Mrs. Murphy led me to the office at the back of the store. There was a small kitchen also and she offered to make me some tea. I refused the tea and tried to get up to leave, but she insisted that I sit and wait for Mr. Dillon. Just then Marie came into the office. I jumped up and ran into her arms.

"Kitty."

"Marie, someone took my daughter." I cried.

She just stood holding me in her arms and letting me cry. Finally, I calmed down and pulled from her comforting arms. I looked around for Mark, but didn't see him.

"Where's Mark?"

That's when she realized he wasn't with her. Just as she headed for the front in he walked.

"Mama, you left without me, but that's okay. I needed to tell Mr. Dillon and Pa that I saw a woman with Ella's basket."

Getting down to his level, I looked at him and said. "Where was she Mark?"

"She came out of the store and went into the alley down the street. Pa and Mr. Dillon are out looking for her. Ella is okay, Mrs. Dillon. I can feel her right here," as he pointed to his heart.

Pulling him into my arms I held him tight taking comfort in his small warm body. I too felt close to Ella while holding Mark. I had seen a bond between the two the first time their eyes met a few days after she was born and I had watched it grow stronger each time they were together. I could feel that bond now and it gave me a peace that everything would be okay.

Finally letting him go, I stood up and turned toward Marie.

"You have a mighty fine son, Marie. He is wise beyond his years."

Just then, I heard the bell over the front door. Rushing out front, I nearly ran into Matt carrying our daughter. It was the most wondrous sight.

"Oh, Matt." I said as I held out my arms for my daughter. Placing her in my arms, Matt then pulled us both into his. Tears of joy ran down our cheeks as we stood there together thanking God for this Christmas miracle.

I don't know how long we stood like that, but Ella started fussing and I knew she was probably wet and hungry. Turning, I saw the Murphy's, Marie, Mark, Joe, and several others witnessing our reunion.

"Mrs. Murphy, do you mind if I take Ella back to your office so I can change and feed her?"

"That would be just fine, Mrs. Dillon."

"Kitty, I'll come with you." Matt said as he picked up the basket following me into the office and then closed the door.

He took Ella while I spread a blanket on the table. Reaching in the basket, I got some clean clothes and a diaper. As I was getting things ready, Ella quieted in her daddy's arms and watched everything I was doing. She also kept looking back and forth between Matt and I like she was making sure we wouldn't disappear.

Once Ella had been changed and fed, I laid her in the basket. Matt and I gathered up all our things and headed to the restaurant down the street. Mr. Murphy had filled our order including the few other items we finally got picked out and placed it in the back of the buggy so all that was left was to wait for Doc and Festus. There train was due in at one and it was now close to noon so we decided to get something to eat.

We entered the restaurant and sat at a table near the back thinking it would be warmer for the baby away from the door. She had fallen asleep so we left her in the basket and sat it on a chair beside us. The waiter took our order quickly. As we were waiting, Joe, Marie, and Mark came into the place. Coming over to our table, they sat down with us placing their own lunch order.

"Matt, I took the woman over to the doctor so he could examine her. From her mumblings, the best I can figure is that sometime she had lost a baby. Do you all want to press charges?"

Matt looked at me and I gave a slight shake of my head. I didn't know who she was or why she took our baby, but I couldn't put her in jail. I remembered what it was like when I realized Rose/Mercedes was gone from me for good. Even though I had left her behind with Melanie, I thought it would just be for a short time and I would have her back. If Matt hadn't been there to help me when I found out Melanie and my baby had disappeared without a trace, I might have done something desperate. I didn't know this lady's story, but I hoped the doctor would be able to help her.

"No Joe, Kitty and I just want what is best for her and we trust the doctor to decide what that may be."

Mark had sat in the chair next to Ella. Looking down at the two of them, I saw he had reached into the basket and was holding her hand. The look of love on the boy's face was precious. I knew as long as he was around I wouldn't have to worry about my daughter.

By the time we were finished with our lunch it was time to go meet the train. Ella was awake so Matt took her out of her basket and decided to carry her over to the depot. The buggy was already over there thanks to Joe. Mark gave Ella a kiss on the cheek and we all said goodbye. The Rawlins' said they would see us Christmas Day. Then we all went our separate ways.

Standing on the platform, we watched the train pull in to the depot and come to a stop.

"Matt, I am so excited. We have been given a Christmas miracle and now our friends are here. I love your Cowboy."

"I love you too, Kitty. It has been a long day and I am anxious to greet our friends and get on home."

Just then, I saw Festus come down the steps of the train. He turned around and held up his hand. Then I heard a cantankerous old man say, "I think I can get off this train on my own. Move out of my way."

Laughing Matt and I walked briskly down to meet them. Festus picked me up spinning me around.

"Miss Kitty, yur a sight for sore eyes."

"Put her down."

"Oh, hush, you ole scudder you."

Giving Doc a hug, I looked at Matt and just smiled. It was good to have them with us again and listening to their banter.

Doc walked over to Matt and took Ella. Festus and Doc both fussed over her. Festus tried to take her from Doc, but he wouldn't have it. Finally giving up, he said. "Doc, she looks just like her mama." Doc just smiled and nodded. Matt took her back and placed her in the basket then we all headed for the buggy.

The ride home was a fairly quiet one. Matt shared what had happened in town. They both listened, but didn't comment. We had put Ella's basket between them in the back seat. She held their attention all the way home.

Once reaching the ranch, Matt and Festus carried everything into the house. Then they went out to take care of the horses and do the evening chores. Festus also wanted to get settled into the bunkhouse and start a fire in the woodstove.

After getting Doc settled into his room and putting everything away, I took Ella upstairs to feed her and get her ready for bed. I had supper warming on the stove so as soon as the fellas came in from the barn we could eat.

For once Ella didn't fall asleep nursing so I carried her back downstairs with me when she was finished. I found Doc in the kitchen setting the table and stirring the stew.

Looking up as we walked into the kitchen, he said, "How's my girls?"

Tears came to my eyes and he just walked over pulling me into a hug.

"It's so good to have you here, Doc. I have missed you."

Stepping out of the hug, he pulled out a chair and sat me down.

"Kitty, something is making you sad. What is it?"

"You always could read me like a book, Doc."

"Yes, just like you can read Matt. It comes with caring very deeply."

Our conversation was interrupted when Festus and Matt came in stomping there feet and removing their coats.

"It's snowing again," Matt said. "It looks like we could get several more inches before morning. I'll carry in more wood after supper."

"Somethin' sure smells srumdillyumpscious."

"Everyone take a seat and we'll eat," I said.

Giving Ella to her daddy, I put the stew, biscuits, and butter on the table. There was a peach pie on the sideboard. Filling the coffee cups, I sat down. Doc gave thanks for the food and bringing Ella back to her parents quickly. I took the baby back from Matt so he could eat. She was starting to reach for things and was trying to grab the fork as I brought it to my mouth. We all laughed at her attempts.

Once we finished, I put Ella down on the pallet by the stove and starting cleaning up the kitchen. Matt and Festus brought in some more wood and built up the fire in the fireplace. I made sure Doc had plenty of blankets and Festus said there were plenty in the bunkhouse.

Finally everything was done and we all made our way into the living room. Matt lit the candles on the Christmas tree and we sat around enjoying it and the fire. Doc took Ella and sat in the rocking chair by the fireplace. We all started reminiscing about Christmas' past at the Long Branch. From that very first Christmas I was in Dodge, we had a party on Christmas Eve for all who wanted to come. As the others talked of Christmas' they remembered, I got very quiet. My eyes went to my daughter who had gone to sleep in Doc's arms. Then the memories of the Christmas dress in the old hat box as well as the one on my dresser for Ella filled my mind. Remembering Mercedes' first Christmas in her red velvet dress and knowing this Christmas Ella would wear hers. Two little red headed babies, one here and the other one gone on to heaven. One lost to me for almost seventeen years and the other almost lost today. My prayer was that Ella would live a full and happy life giving us grandchildren. I was so thankful for the joyful week we had with Mercedes two years ago. My mind was miles away so it took a minute for it to register that Matt was talking to me and that Ella was fussing.

"Kitty, Kitty."

"Oh, sorry."

"You were miles away, honey. Are you okay?"

"Yes, just remembering. I walked over and took the baby from Doc. I think I had better take Ella upstairs for the night. Goodnight everyone."

"Festus, I think it's about time we let these good people go to bed. They have had a full day."

"I think yur right, Doc. Good night Matthew, Miss Kitty. See ya all in the morning."

He walked over and gave Ella a kiss on the forehead. In the kitchen, he stopped to put on his boots and coat. We heard the door close as he headed for the bunkhouse. Doc kissed my cheek and Ella's before he went to his room.

"Honey, I'll take care of things down here and then I will be up."

Walking over to my cowboy, I kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kit. I won't be long."

It had been a long day and we were all tired, but I knew Matt and I would have a talk about all my memories and the Christmas dress before we went to sleep.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Kitty

Thinking about the Christmas dress in the old hat box, I headed up the stairs to the baby's room. Matt had the lamps lit upstairs so I didn't have any trouble finding my way. After getting Ella ready for bed, I sat down in the rocking chair with her. Sparkling blue eyes stared up at me. "I love you, sweetheart and I am so glad you are home in your own room tonight." Watching her as she nursed, I sat there cherishing our time together. By the time I had switched her to the other side, she was almost asleep. Just as she was finishing, Matt stuck his head in the door.

"She's almost done, Matt. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay. I'll go warm up the bed."

Smiling at his comment, I looked down at my precious baby girl. I felt so blessed as I gazed on her tiny face so peaceful in sleep. Remembering another time like this with my other cherished daughter, I smiled. For once the memory wasn't sad. Kissing her gently, I placed her in her crib and headed to bed.

Entering our room, I found my cowboy sitting up in bed reading. Glancing my way, he put the book down and held his arms out. I walked over sitting down on the bed and let him pull me into a hug. It was the first time we had been alone since early morning. It felt good just sitting there in his comforting arms.

"It's been a full day for us, sweetheart. How are you really holding up?"

Surprisingly with all that we had been through that day, I felt at peace. Not just with what had happened with Ella, but with my memories of Rose as well.

Pulling out of the embrace, I took his hands in mine and looked into Matt's dazzling blue eyes.

"I feel so blessed to have a wonderful husband, an adorable daughter, good friends, and a warm home. We are really lucky, Matt and I realized that I have nothing to be sad about. You've asked me about the tears and quiet moments. Well, I think I am ready to talk about it. I'm sure you have figured it out by now anyway."

"Yes, honey, I think I knew the first time I saw the tears. I knew this time of year always brought a sadness about you, but you always seem to keep it inside. This year, I knew would be different because Ella would remind you of Mercedes."

"I was looking at the Christmas dress I had made for Ella the other day, when I suddenly remembered another Christmas dress."

Getting up off the bed, I walked over opening the closet door taking down the old hat box. Bringing it back over to Matt, I sat down and opened it pulling out the little red velvet dress.

"Pan had this made for Rose her first Christmas. I had forgotten I even had it until looking at Ella's that day. They look so much alike, Matt and Ella is the same age that Rose was on her first Christmas. I don't know why I took this dress with me when I left New Orleans, but I am glad I did. It's the only thing I kept of hers that was from my time with her."

"I am glad I got to meet Mercedes, Kitty. That week we spent with her in Dodge was incredible, but oh so short. I will always think of her as our daughter even though she wasn't. Knowing about her all those years and then getting to share a short time with her, it wouldn't be right to imagine it any other way."

There wasn't anything that I hadn't shared with Matt of my life before Dodge and Rose was no exception. Shortly after our relationship began, I told him about the baby I gave birth to in New Orleans and how I had left her with my friend Melanie until I had the money to send for her. When the letter came from Pan saying that Melanie and the baby were gone, I was devastated. She wasn't able to give me the name of the man who had taken them away. Matt helped me search for Melanie Stevens or Rose Russell, but nothing turned up. Finally I realized I would never find her. When she turned up in Dodge two years ago at the age of 17, with a different name, I understood why I hadn't found her. We were blessed with a week full of bonding and getting to know one another before her life tragically ended.

Thinking about how I called my daughter Rose and Matt called her Mercedes seemed strange, but it wasn't really. I had named her after my maternal grandmother, but when she came to Dodge, Matt met her as Mercedes. When Melanie and her husband ran away from New Orleans, they changed her name making it impossible for me to find her.

It felt good to remember and share my feelings with Matt. I picked up the Christmas dress and lovingly caressed it. Placing it back in the box, I got up and returned it to the closet. Someday, when Ella was old enough, I would bring it out and tell her about her sister, but for now it would stay in the old hat box tucked away.

"I will never forget her Matt, but that time is gone. We have our beautiful Ella now to love and cherish."

Walking back over to the bed, I leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you Matt, for loving me so much." I said as I walked into the washroom to get ready for bed. Crawling in beside Matt a few minutes later, I snuggled in his arms and slept better than I had in a while.

Christmas Eve was a whirlwind day at the Dillon homestead. I baked pies and did some of the cooking for our Christmas dinner the next day. I made sugar cookies for Mark. I knew he would love the stars and Christmas trees decorated with icing and sugar.

Matt and Festus spent the day out in the workshop and barn finishing up last minute projects. I knew Matt was making Ella and Mark toy boxes. I wasn't sure what else he was making. Of course, I knew Christmas was a time for secrets. I had a few of my own.

Doc entertained Ella throughout the day playing with her on the floor. They even took a nap together on the settee. It was a beautiful sight.

When bedtime came we were all exhausted and ready to call it a day. Ella had been in bed for a while. Matt headed upstairs as Festus and Doc went to beds. Before I turned in, I brought out the presents I had gotten for everyone and placed them under the tree. Standing back, I gazed at it and thought of the family that would be gathered round it the next day. I knew Christmas Day was going to be a special and I felt truly fortunate for all I had.

Christmas morning broke with the sun shining on the glistening snow. Matt lay sleeping soundly beside me and so far all was quiet across the hall. Quietly sliding out of bed so as not to wake Matt, I headed to the washroom to dress. Looking out the window, I noticed the fresh layer of pure white snow. It was so beautiful. The feeling of Christmas was in the air and I looked forward to our day with family and friends.

Deciding to let Matt sleep a little longer, I entered the washroom dressing quickly. Coming out, my eye caught a glimpse of red near the end of the bed and I realized I had left Ella's Christmas dress lying on the chaise. Picking it up, I held it to my heart. Unlike the memories of a few days ago, my heart was filled with the joy of remembering my time with Mercedes as a baby and a young woman. Glancing over at Matt, my heart nearly burst with the love I felt for him.

Leaving the room, I went in the nursery to check on my daughter. She too was still sleeping. Standing there gazing at her, a peace flowed through me that Ella and I would have many years ahead together.

Taking the quiet time given me, I went downstairs and into the living room. Lighting the candles on the tree and building up the fire, I took the opportunity to enjoy the beauty that surrounded me. Reflecting on Christmas's past, that first one with Mercedes in New Orleans, all those at the Long Branch, and now our first one in Colorado as a family gave me serenity. Lost in thought as I took in the splendor of the flickering lights, sparkling ornaments, and the brightly wrapped gifts, it wasn't until I felt Matt's arms encircle my waist that I knew I wasn't alone. Tranquility and love filled the space around us as we stood together enjoying the moment.

As with all good things, our quiet moment ended with a cry from the nursery. Turning into my husband's embrace, our lips met in a light kiss. Pulling back, I said, "Merry Christmas, Cowboy."

The cry grew louder so as much as I liked being in my husband's arms, our daughter demanded attention. As I started to leave, Matt pulled me close again and said, "Merry Christmas to you too, honey. I'll start breakfast, while you're feeding Ella. So take your time."

I smiled my thanks and hurried up the stairs. Reaching her crib, I took her in my arms cuddling her close and said, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

The morning flew by quickly. We finished breakfast and the chores then started on fixing Christmas dinner. It was a group effort with each of us performing tasks until the aromas filling the air were tantalizing to each of us.

The Rawlins' were expected soon. The table had been set and the food all ready. Taking Ella from her daddy, we headed up stairs. I wanted to change her diaper, feed her, and put the little red velvet Christmas dress on her. She looked darling in it and so much like Mercedes so long ago.

Going to our room, I dressed for dinner in a gown similar to Ella's only in dark green velvet. The dressmaker in town had made them both. Together we looked very festive.

Just then, I heard sleigh bells and knew that Joe, Marie, and Mark had arrived. We were coming down the stairs just as Matt let them in the front door. Joe's arms were filled with colorfully wrapped presents which he unloaded under the Christmas tree. Handing Ella to Marie, I took their coats and placed them on the coat rack.

Dinner was a joyous time for all. It was good to have Doc and Festus there as well as our new friends from town. Mark shared what Santa had brought for him and we all enjoyed his youthful antics. Turkey and all the trimmings were consumed leaving us all too full for dessert so it was decided that gifts would come next and the sweets could be eaten later.

We all made our way into the living room for the gifts. There was something for everyone under the tree. Books, candy, clothes, and other items were unwrapped. The excitement with the oohing and aahing as each gift was revealed to all was a wonder to behold. Watching Mark with Ella was so sweet. We had laid her on a blanket in the floor near the tree. Mark sat beside her and helped her open her gifts then showing her everything he received. He was so loving and gentle with her. Festus had carved a wooden horse for each child and Matt had made them both toy boxes. I had made a cloth doll for Ella and bought a toy truck for Mark. The wonderment on the boy's face thrilled us all.

After all the paper was cleaned up and presents put away, we had dessert. When we were done, Doc got his worn black Bible from his bag and read us the Christmas story. The candles on the tree twinkling and the fire flickering set the mood as he read about the greatest gift ever given. By this time, Mark had laid down beside Ella tenderly holding her hand. They both fell asleep. It was a precious sight. It had been a wonderful day full of fun, laughter, love, family, and friends.

As the day wound down, Joe and his family left for home. Festus took his gifts going to the bunkhouse and Doc went to his room. Ella had been fed and put to bed earlier. Matt locked the doors and turned down the lamps and the fire was ready for the night. I stood in front of the fireplace staring at the Christmas tree thinking of the amazing day it had been. The presence of love and harmony still filled the air. I couldn't remember a more wonderful Christmas.

"Are you going to stand there all night or might I possibly entice you to come to bed?"

Turning, I smiled. "Just what kind of enticement did you have in mind?"

Giving me that crooked grin I loved so much he said, "I guess you'll just have to come and find out."

Walking over to him, we placed our arms around each other's waist and climbed the stairs together. We turned to go into the nursery first to check on our daughter. I tucked the blanket around her. Watching her as she made sucking noises in her sleep, I thanked God for our beautiful baby, my loving husband, and our friends. Looking up at the love shining in Matt's eyes, I said, "Let's go to bed, cowboy."

We had no more walked into our room and closed the door when Matt pulled me into his arms kissing me. Softly first, then more urgently. Working to remove our clothes, Matt slowly backed me up against the side of the bed. Once each piece was on the floor, he laid me back on the bed hovering over me. I could feel his hardness against my belly heightening my desire. As he entered me, blue eyes met blue eyes, both burning with desire. Our passion intensified to the point we were the only ones in existence and coming together was like fireworks bursting in the air. Passion spent, we rolled to our side facing one another. Sharing our love for each other was one of the greatest gifts we could give.

"I love you Matt."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Laying my head on his shoulder, his arm for my pillow, I drew as close as I could get. My thoughts going back to the Christmas dress in the old hat box. What I had thought would be a sad Christmas had become a glorious one full of old memories and new beginnings.

Just as we were both drifting off to sleep, we whispered together, "Merry Christmas!"

End


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